i don’t want to do any air travel this thanksgiving, but am being given no choice. i always catch something when i fly; whatever’s going around, i get it.

i hate thanksgiving, and i hate not being given a choice. they can pay for my hospital bills if i get sick. or my funeral bills if i die. stupid holiday.

• Battered company says ‘No’ to job cuts

• GOP sets sights on conservative ‘blue dog’ dems

• Obama offers states rewards for overhauling schools

how’re these for attention-grabbing headlines:

• Sting shows his age with a penchant for one particular cardigan - wearing it two days in a row

• Yes, women are neurotic, vain and stressed out from a young age - but what’s new?

• My life of drink and one-night stands left me feeling hollow, now I’ve found the answer: I’m going to be a nun

Here’s mine: “My morning of reading the Daily Mail left me feeling hollow, now I’ve found the answer: I’m going to read National Public Radio’s website instead”